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  • jacqueline loweree

Bipolar Poetry: "Today We Live" A Poem About What Manic Feels Like



The extreme mood oscillations that come with bipolar are perhaps one of the most confusing aspects of the disorder.


When experiencing a depressive episode, we cannot imagine what it is to laugh and to be willed to live. While manic (or hypomanic) we think our diagnosis is bogus – we are not sick! How can someone so alive can be so sick?


It is almost as if we suffer from amnesia while experiencing each mood. In a way, our moods become their own split personalities, never touching one another.

So that I would not fall victim to the spell of amnesia and forget what it is like to be willed to live, I wrote this poem on what mania can feel like. I read this while I’m depressed. And while I’m reading it feels like someone else wrote this. But it gives me hope, hope that my darkness won’t be everlasting.

 

Today We Live


Frolicking like children

on fields atop hills,

lost in the magical stupor 

of endless wander,

we are. 

Like children,

aged only with time,

unthinking

blessed with a moment

of pure guileless.

Dancing, we are

interlocked in spirit.

Our hearts intertwined

together as one,

enlightened with the

fiery joy of madness.

O, that grass so green

and that sun so bright!

The sun

it radiates,

it penetrates

through my skin,

blinding me into

a bittersweet bliss.

I shut my eyes.

I hear immutable voices

carried by the murmur

of the wind.

Incomprehensible, they are

filled with a

euphonious laughter.

O, and the singing!

That melody piercing through

the inner depths of my soul. 

Every sensation magnified

with the intensity of the light. 

For today we are one,

lost but rejoicing in

our temporary bliss

that at this moment

feels eternal.

For the menace

of tomorrow

we fear. 

But today,


today we must live. 

 

When I originally wrote this, I was very manic. It wasn't until I had toned down that I later read my scribbles. Almost incomprehensible they felt. And it took me several hours to rewrite the madness into something I could understand.


I'm not sure the meaning behind this revised poem is what I meant when I first frantically penned it. But that is poetry - it takes a little from the wisdom of experience and a lot from our potential to imagine.



#OWNITBLOG #bipolar #bipolardisorder #mentalillness #mentalwellness #takingcharge #poetry #hope #coping #grieve #breathe #mentalhealth #managing


 

Follow me on Instagram @jackie_loweree for updates, links to the blog, inspirational quotes, pretty pictures, and more.


The Ins and Outs of OWN IT: A Blog on How to Show Bipolar Who's the Boss

  • A blog for people with mental illness written by an unstable, unpredictable, and uninhibited woman diagnosed with bipolar disorder

  • Covers all topics including relationships, coping mechanisms, entertainment, and everyday resources

  • Updated and shared twice a month, news and updates available on Instagram @jackie_loweree, and if you don't have an Instagram, no problem, just check my site - all posts will be here

Disclaimer: OWN IT is a first-hand account of bipolar disorder designed to orient those diagnosed with mental illness. It by no means intends to offer medical advice. If you are diagnosed with an illness, or think you may suffer from one, please seek professional help. Otherwise, take my words lightly and have fun reading!

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